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If a Cat was the Teacher You Would Learn Stuff Like

If a Cat was the Teacher You Would Learn Stuff Like
by John Hanevy

When loved ones come home, complain loudly until they feed you.

Don't settle for sub-standard vittles--insist on the best.

Never go for joyrides, they probably want to take you to the vet.

Don't hang your nose out of car windows, only dumb dogs do that.

Obedience is for dogs, it's not something you do.

Let others know when they've invaded your territory.

Take naps in sunny places.

When you're happy, purr loudly.

Hunt daily, and bring back your catch to your owners--this shows them that you love them and are looking out for them.

While dogs are stuck living like savages on the floor, you can sleep and walk wherever you like--tables and countertops were made to be jumped up on!

Do whatever you have to do to get attention when you want it--use your claws if you have to.

Just because someone lives in the same house with you and feeds you every day doesn't mean you have to acknowledge them in any way. You already bring them dead mice and birds--that should be enough to show you care.

No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing--you can't help the way you are, they'll just have to accept that.

Recognize that, unlike cats, all human beings have many faults --but be sure to complain loudly when something displeases you anyway, you never know, they may change.

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